The following is something I wrote several years ago. I came across it today and found that I needed to see it again. In resharing it I hope some of you find it helpful as well.
One day when I was getting concerned about what I was going to do with the rest of my life I had the thought, “I have today.” I know today what I need to do, and I can approach these things through the lens of how God is leading me in the here and now. I know today what I don’t want to do and why. I know today the parts of my life I wish were different, and I can do something today to change that. I have today to live a life to God’s purpose. I can’t do anything today that will control my future. I can’t and should not know what God has in store for me. But I do have today in which I can be the one God made me to be.
Then I thought I’ve heard this all before when people say, “all you have is today.” However, that does not say the same thing to me as, “I have today.” “All you have is today” speaks hopelessness to me. It makes me think of all those one time things I would like to do sometime in life and tells me I better get to it. “I have today” carries a very different message for me: I have today to be close to God, I have today to be in relationship with people.
After a while I built on this a bit. I thought, “I have today to do what God created me to do. How am I going to spend it?” Here I am thinking of “spend” like we spend money. This is like the gift of manna that God gave the Israelites in the wilderness. Each day God gives me the gift of a day of infinite possibilities. Suddenly it started to seem a little silly to spend today’s manna worrying about how I was going to spend tomorrow’s.
But with this I started to feel a little pressured to do as much as I could with the day. Then I realized I don’t have to get it ALL done today. If I clean my bathroom today, that’s good. It is something that needs done every once in a while. But if I don’t get to the bathroom today because I take an extra 30 minutes talking to the coworker who just found out she has cancer… The bathroom can wait. This was good. I can get overwhelmed about everything I have to do. The bottom line is there is not enough time to get everything there is to do done today. The logical conclusion here is that not everything is going to get done. This brought me back to the question, “What do I want to spend today on?” And now there was an even greater depth to the word “spend.” It’s like being a kid in a candy store with only one dollar. This has helped me reevaluate my priorities. There are several things that I am starting to realize may never have their day. And I’m okay with that.
So I am going to use today honoring God with the life I have today. I pray about my dreams and passions, which I believe God has given me, but in the end my ultimate desire is God and my hope is that God’s will will be done in my life – today.